LOOK UP- My Jehovah Nissi

One of my favorite names of God is Jehovah Nissi- the Lord is my Banner.  A few months before my sister passed away, I had been studying the Hebrew names of God and this name had impacted me the most! (Another example of God's perfect timing as he knew I would need this truth)

In the Old Testament, the Israelites carried banners with them on their march through the desert.   They were used as a rallying point for troops before battle and were meant to instill hope and arouse devotion to a leader or cause.  When they were in the fray of the battle, they were to look up and gain renewed hope and confidence amidst the chaos.  It was a standard to look to and a reminder that no matter what the crisis, God would see them through!

In Exodus 16, the Israelites were facing hardship at the Rock of Horeb where the water sources were very low. The Israelites chose to complain, not believing that the Lord was really with them. They are doubting God's goodness and about to face war with Amalek.

Yet God provided a way out. As long as Moses held up his arms during the battle, the Israelites were winning.  I'm sure that in the midst of the fighting the Israelites could look up and find hope in seeing Moses' arms outstretched.  After they miraculously won the battle, Moses built and altar and called proclaimed the Lord as his banner.  The banner is an amazing symbol of God's promise to bring us through, providing protection over us.

One of the biggest things I've learned is that when you are suffering, the best thing you can do is to LOOK UP.  Difficult circumstances can sometimes throw us into a pit and sling mud over our eyes so that we can't see clearly.

Yet God is our banner of encouragement to give us hope and a focal point in the midst of chaos. He is our victory and the one who wins our battles!

Suffering is a very vulnerable time.  A fact that Satan will take advantage of every time.  We may be tempted to focus on the chaos of our circumstances and the battle instead of God's character!  Look up and find HOPE in the Lord's protection and promises.

My favorite song during this past year has been Bethel's Through It All.  Part of the song goes, "Through it all, my eyes are on you!".  I would listen to this song on repeat several times a day to remind myself of this truth.  You can listen to it Here.

When you are suffering, the best thing you can do is to LOOK UP!

Graphic from http://raisedtowalk.org/thanks/jehovah-nissi-daily-deliverer/

House of Figs

The name Bethany means 'house of figs'.  I always knew this growing up but it never meant anything to me.  I didn't even know what a fig was!  This changed when I had the opportunity to go on a hiking trip through Israel and Jordan during the summer of 2015.

One of the first places we went to was Bethany beyond the Jordan.  Our fearless leader Wyn explained that Bethany meant 'house of affliction' as well as 'house of figs'.  In the way he explained it this gave me a whole new meaning to my name.  

Despite suffering and affliction, I am to be bearing fruit and going through a process of refining.  The fig tree bears fruit all year long and if not, it is cut down.  This blew my mind.  At the time, the Lord had been teaching me about refining and being molded through difficulties.  

I also learned that my name means 'house of song'.  Anyone who knows me (or has lived with me) knows that I am constantly singing.  I don't mean to drive people crazy but I just LOVE singing! Yet even during trials, I want to be bearing fruit and singing praises to Jesus no matter what!  I have my name to remind me of that.

Despite suffering and affliction, I am to be bearing fruit and going through a process of refining.  

I had no idea that 4 months later, my world would be turned upside down and this would be tested again.  On October 15, 2015, my sister Adriana, took her own life while studying abroad in Germany.

Right now, I'm in the trenches.  My soul is being wrung out.  And my pain and mess are oozing out of me in unpleasant and in very ugly ways.  Yet, this is the process of refining brought by much pain. Could it be that God, in his sovereignty, wanted to teach me these truths in Israel in preparation for the nightmare that only HE knew would happen?  God works in mysterious ways.

So, I'm starting this blog to help me process my journey and invite people into my mess.  I'm sitting under the fig tree trusting God in moments of trial in order that I may bear much fruit and sing the song that I was meant to sing.  Through this, may God be glorified.

"Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me."

John 15